i was born a porn star she said
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
porn star boner night. come get it.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
