Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's blow job season.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
