too bad you live with your parents still
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
