I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just saw a hot homeless man
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she smelled like a LAN party
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
