Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
