I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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