Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Boobs are out for the taking
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
