GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
