He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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