went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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