Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
