i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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