My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
