I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize