I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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