I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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