Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize