I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Can I color on your dick again?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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