A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
