I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
