i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
