And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
