Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
