She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
They took my balls.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
