Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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