didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
