I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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