the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
