as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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