Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
