At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
