That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
im having a threesome with these popsicles
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
