After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
