i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Randomize
