I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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