is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
