Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
