well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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