The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
