Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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