you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize