Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
