i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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