kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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