Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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