just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize