so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I need moral support for this bender
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
