Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
