I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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