how hairy? two words: wookie tits
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
