All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
