So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The uberlube is also flammable
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
