i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
