So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize