If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
