we made out on top of his cat.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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