hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
