I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
