I need help removing her.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
