So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
