when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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