he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize