Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
