Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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