Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.

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(631): View more from New York

I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks

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(602): View more from Arizona

every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..

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(410): View more from Maryland

She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(406): View more from Montana

Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.

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(785): View more from Kansas

I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?

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(312): View more from Illinois

I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.

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