i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here