Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess

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  (651): Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess http://tfl.nu/7tw6
  Replies (6) Good night (920) Bad night (2222)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.

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  (631): I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song. http://tfl.nu/vyfy
  Replies (17) Good night (876) Bad night (4893)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests

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  (267): the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests http://tfl.nu/jxz4
  Replies (15) Good night (1064) Bad night (3724)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is

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  (401): If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is http://tfl.nu/twoy
  Replies (19) Good night (4556) Bad night (923)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  im here for your entertainment

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  (401): Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you. (603): im here for your entertainment http://tfl.nu/u5ht
  Replies (7) Good night (2720) Bad night (879)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.

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  (314): Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning. http://tfl.nu/u08e
  Replies (7) Good night (3392) Bad night (924)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.

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  (480): It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car. http://tfl.nu/gkht
  Replies (3) Good night (2223) Bad night (965)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.

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  (630): The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko. http://tfl.nu/k2r0
  Replies (3) Good night (1544) Bad night (824)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things

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  (519): My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things http://tfl.nu/16j6
  Replies (11) Good night (1210) Bad night (2682)
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  (718): View more from New York

  There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.

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  (718): There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood. http://tfl.nu/j8qe
  Replies (13) Good night (1396) Bad night (568)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.

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  (604): Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas. http://tfl.nu/feay
  Replies (11) Good night (2294) Bad night (655)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Way to ruin everything

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid

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  (614): Way to ruin everything (304): I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid http://tfl.nu/wv46
  Replies (5) Good night (1633) Bad night (588)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.

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  (+61): I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video. http://tfl.nu/tibc
  Replies (14) Good night (1130) Bad night (563)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.

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  (425): She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude. http://tfl.nu/4r57
  Replies (1) Good night (435) Bad night (979)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face

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  (860): You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face http://tfl.nu/wwpz
  Replies (3) Good night (864) Bad night (598)

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