Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
home. puking in laundry basket.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Randomize
Follow @tfln