Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.

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  (248): i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles. http://tfl.nu/v155
  Replies (2) Good night (540) Bad night (998)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties

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  (206): put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties http://tfl.nu/njvs
  Replies (5) Good night (2072) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.

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  (734): I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success. http://tfl.nu/p2jc
  Replies (8) Good night (2214) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  Man I wish I had been there

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.

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  (314): Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours. (1-314): Man I wish I had been there (314): Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again. http://tfl.nu/g53a
  Replies (11) Good night (2658) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  Thanks dad.

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  (810): Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game. (1-810): Thanks dad. http://tfl.nu/ga57
  Replies (24) Good night (1046) Bad night (4593)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  You're the best girlfriend ever.

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  (913): Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat. (1-913): You're the best girlfriend ever. http://tfl.nu/imen
  Replies (144) Good night (40284) Bad night (1467)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.

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  (978): Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen. http://tfl.nu/nx95
  Replies (10) Good night (4049) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.

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  (678): I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you. http://tfl.nu/ocnt
  Replies (1) Good night (1957) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK

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  (614): THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK http://tfl.nu/6k18
  Replies (6) Good night (2891) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."

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  (248): Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting." http://tfl.nu/6v74
  Replies (6) Good night (4554) Bad night (1351)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"

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  (+27): Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party" http://tfl.nu/3xpc
  Replies (10) Good night (1321) Bad night (2190)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you

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  (423): You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you http://tfl.nu/8tmy
  Replies (3) Good night (871) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?

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  (612): She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy? http://tfl.nu/le82
  Replies (16) Good night (1013) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.

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  (513): If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy. http://tfl.nu/099u
  Replies (7) Good night (1013) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"

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  (202): His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?" http://tfl.nu/rw07
  Replies (6) Good night (291) Bad night (521)

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