he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review