And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.